Overcoming Unhelpful Thinking Styles

We all experience unhelpful thinking patterns from time to time, and if we’re not aware of them, they can cloud our judgment, lead to anxiety, and strain our relationships. The good news is that by recognising these cognitive distortions, we can start challenging and changing them for a more balanced, fulfilling life. Let’s explore some common unhelpful thinking styles and simple ways to reframe them based on evidence from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).

1. Catastrophising

Catastrophising is when we expect the worst possible outcome, even if it’s unlikely. This type of thinking can escalate anxiety and prevent us from thinking clearly.
Example: If you make a mistake at work, you might think, “I’m going to get fired, and my career is over.”
What to Do: Ask yourself, "What’s the actual likelihood of this happening?" By evaluating the evidence, you can put things into perspective and realise that the worst-case scenario is rarely true.

2. All-or-Nothing Thinking

Also known as black-and-white thinking, this distortion means viewing situations in extremes—either everything is perfect, or it’s a disaster.
Example: If you don’t get everything done on your to-do list, you think, “I failed at everything today.”
What to Do: Recognise that most situations are not all good or all bad. Look for the grey areas and acknowledge small successes, even if things didn’t go perfectly.

3. Overgeneralisation

Overgeneralising means taking a single negative event and applying it to all future situations. This type of thinking can cause unnecessary pessimism.
Example: After one bad date, you think, “I’m never going to find a good relationship.”
What to Do: Ask yourself if this is a pattern or just a one-time occurrence. One bad experience doesn’t mean all future ones will be the same.

4. Mind Reading

Mind reading happens when we assume we know what someone else is thinking, usually in a negative way, without any real evidence.
Example: “They didn’t text me back, so they must be mad at me.”
What to Do: Check the facts. Instead of assuming, communicate and ask for clarification. Often, there’s a simple explanation.

5. Personalisation

Personalisation is when we take on too much responsibility for events or assume that things happening around us are a direct reflection of ourselves.
Example: If your colleague is in a bad mood, you think, “It’s because of something I did.”
What to Do: Remember that people’s behaviour often has nothing to do with you. Ask yourself, “What other factors could be at play here?”

6. Discounting the Positive

This happens when we downplay our successes or positive feedback, focusing only on the negatives.
Example: You receive compliments on a project, but dismiss them, thinking, “They’re just being polite.”
What to Do: Practice acknowledging your achievements. When positive things happen, let yourself feel good about them—no matter how small.

7. Emotional Reasoning

Emotional reasoning is when we assume that our emotions reflect reality. If we feel anxious, we believe that something must be wrong, even if there’s no real danger.
Example: “I feel so scared, so this situation must be dangerous.”
What to Do: Remind yourself that emotions aren’t facts. Just because you feel something doesn’t mean it’s true. Try to separate your emotional response from the actual situation.

8. Should Statements

“Should” statements involve setting unrealistic expectations for ourselves or others, leading to feelings of failure or frustration.
Example: “I should always be on top of everything.”
What to Do: Replace “should” with more flexible language, such as “I would like to,” or “It’s okay if I don’t get everything done today.” This allows for self-compassion and a more realistic approach.

9. Magnification and Minimisation

Magnification is when we blow problems out of proportion, while minimisation downplays positives or successes.
Example: You make a small mistake and think, “This is the worst thing ever!” but when you do something well, you think, “It’s not a big deal.”
What to Do: Look at the situation objectively. Ask yourself, “Am I seeing this for what it really is, or am I exaggerating or minimising?” Practising balanced thinking helps create a more accurate picture.

How Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) Helps

CBT is a proven, evidence-based approach that teaches us to recognise and challenge these unhelpful thinking styles. It works by helping us identify distorted thoughts, question their validity, and replace them with more balanced, realistic thinking. This approach has been shown to reduce symptoms of anxiety, depression, and stress by helping us see situations more clearly and respond in healthier ways.

A Quick Tip for Change

Next time you notice one of these unhelpful thinking patterns, pause and ask yourself, “Is there another way to view this situation?” By exploring alternative perspectives, you can break free from automatic negative thoughts and create space for more balanced, realistic thinking.

With practice, you can reshape how you think, leading to improved mental health, better relationships, and a greater sense of well-being.

Disclaimer: The resources provided on this site are for educational purposes only and are not intended as a replacement for professional therapy, counselling, or medical care. Please consult with a licensed mental health clinician for any personal concerns or questions. In case of a crisis, contact emergency services immediately.