3 Barriers to Intimacy with God
Most of us would say we want a closer relationship with God. We long for more than just a surface-level faith; we want a real, intimate connection with Him — one where we can sense His presence, hear His voice, and experience His peace in our daily lives.
But if we’re honest, intimacy with God often feels just out of reach. Despite our best intentions, we can find ourselves stuck, wondering why our connection with Him feels distant or difficult.
The truth is, there are common barriers that block intimacy with God — barriers we often don’t even realise are there. In this article, we’ll explore three of the most significant barriers: busyness, pride, and shame — and, more importantly, how to begin removing them so we can experience God’s love more fully.
Barrier 1: Busyness
“If the devil can’t make you bad, He’ll make you busy.” — Corrie Ten Boom
In a world that idolises productivity, busyness has become the socially acceptable enemy of spiritual depth. We convince ourselves that we’re too busy to pray, too busy to pause, too busy to be still — and over time, we settle for a version of faith that’s more about doing than being.
As John Ortberg puts it: “For many of us, the great danger is not that we will renounce our faith. It is that we will become so distracted and rushed and preoccupied that we will settle for a mediocre version of it. We will skim our lives instead of living them.”
We see this tension in the story of Martha and Mary in Luke 10:38-42. While Martha is busy preparing for Jesus’ visit, Mary simply sits at His feet. When Martha complains, Jesus gently tells her: “You are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
I can relate — I’m a Martha by default, but I’m learning to be a Mary by choice.
Because what’s the point of doing all the right things for God, if we miss God Himself in the process?
It’s not about choosing between serving and sitting — it’s about making sure we sit with Him first, so our serving flows from relationship, not religious obligation.
The Antidote: Intentional Slowing Down
The remedy for busyness isn’t just better time management — it’s intentionally creating space for God. Psalm 46:10 calls us to: “Be still and know that I am God.”
The Hebrew word Selah — found 74 times in the Bible — literally means pause in His presence. It’s a built-in invitation to stop, breathe, and reconnect.
As Peter Scazzero writes:“Solitude is the practice of being absent from people and things to attend to God. Silence is the practice of quieting every inner and outer voice to attend to God.”
Even Jesus reminds us: “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me… and you’ll recover your life.” (Matthew 11:28, MSG)
When we honour rhythms of rest — including Sabbath — we not only respect our limits, but we also re-centre our hearts on God, trusting that we are loved for who we are, not for what we produce.
Barrier 2: Pride
Pride is one of the most subtle, yet most powerful barriers to intimacy with God.
I once heard someone describe pride this way: “It’s the shift from wanting to be close to God to wanting to be like God.”
That’s exactly what happened to Lucifer. The first sin wasn’t in the Garden — it was in heaven when Lucifer decided that being close to God wasn’t enough. He wanted His throne.
Isaiah 14:12-15 recounts the moment:“You said in your heart, ‘I will ascend to the heavens… I will make myself like the Most High.’”
Pride still works the same way today. It whispers:
“I can handle this on my own.”
“I know what’s best.”
“I don’t really need God’s input on this.”
The problem is, pride blocks intimacy because closeness requires dependence — and pride hates dependence.
The Antidote: Humility
James 4:6 reminds us: “God opposes the proud but shows favour to the humble.”
Humility isn’t self-loathing — it’s right-sizing ourselves in relation to God. It’s the posture that says, “I don’t have all the answers — and I’m okay with that.”
Proverbs 22:4 explains:“Humility is the fear of the Lord; its wages are riches and honour and life.”
Jesus reinforced this when He said:“For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” (Luke 14:11)
Intimacy grows when we stop performing for God and start depending on Him.
Barrier 3: Shame
If busyness distracts us and pride distances us, shame isolates us.
Where guilt says, “I did something wrong,” shame says, “I am something wrong.”
Shame is the fear of being unlovable — the deep belief that if anyone (including God) knew the real you, they would turn away.
We see this in Genesis 3, right after Adam and Eve sin. They hear God walking in the garden and hide.“I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.” (Genesis 3:10)
I’ve seen this over and over, especially when my husband and I were youth pastors. When young people messed up, they wouldn’t just avoid church — they’d avoid God altogether, convinced they were too far gone.
But they didn’t realise this truth: God isn’t waiting to expose you — He’s waiting to cover you.
Just like God provided animal coverings for Adam and Eve — a foreshadowing of Jesus’ ultimate covering — God’s first instinct isn’t to condemn you; it’s to restore you.
Shame thrives in secrecy, silence, and judgment, but when we bring our failures into the light, shame loses its power.
The Antidote: Confession & Repentance
1 John 1:9 offers a promise:“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”
Proverbs 28:13 adds: “Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.”
Confession isn’t just about admitting guilt — it’s about receiving grace.
Acts 3:19 declares:“Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.”
Romans 8:1 seals it: “There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”
When we choose to slow down, embrace humility, and bring our struggles into the light, we discover a God who isn’t distant or disinterested, but near, compassionate, and ready to meet us exactly where we are. True intimacy begins not when we’ve figured it all out, but when we realise we’re fully known and fully loved — even in the mess.