Freedom Through Forgiveness
We can’t always change what has happened to us, but there’s a gentle path to healing and freedom, and it often begins with forgiveness. Forgiveness is one of the hardest yet most liberating choices we can make. It’s not easy, and sometimes it feels impossible, but choosing to let go of the weight we carry is the first step towards true freedom.
As Lewis B. Smedes once said: “To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.”
Forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending that what happened was acceptable. It’s not about excusing or forgetting the hurtful behaviour. Instead, it’s about releasing yourself from the grip of pain and resentment so you’re no longer trapped by what someone else did. Sometimes, holding onto hurt can keep us stuck, like the story of natives who caught monkeys by placing fruit inside a coconut. The monkey would reach in, grab the fruit, but couldn’t pull its hand out while holding on. The monkey stayed trapped simply because it refused to let go. How often do we hold onto our hurts the same way, not realising that letting go is what sets us free?
“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” C.S. Lewis
This profound truth reminds us that forgiveness mirrors God’s grace. We’ve all made mistakes, and yet, God’s love for us never wavers. If He can forgive us so freely and completely, how can we not try to extend that same grace to others?
"Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."
It’s true—when we cling to anger or hurt, it’s our own hearts that become heavy and burdened. Maybe today is the day to let go. Not because what they did was acceptable, but because you deserve to be free. Forgiveness isn’t about saying it didn’t hurt—it’s about deciding that the hurt no longer controls you.
By exploring both the benefits and the common misconceptions about forgiveness, we can find a more meaningful and compassionate way to approach it. This understanding can help bring peace to our hearts and strengthen our connections with others and ourselves.
We can’t change what we don’t acknowledge, and brokenness continues unless we invite Jesus into the process.
Forgiveness may not always feel right, but it is a choice, a decision to set ourselves free, even if our hearts are still hurting.
As Timothy Keller points out, “If you can’t stop looking at your wounds and what people have done to you, it’s because you’ve stopped looking at His wounds and what He’s done for you.”
In Mark 11:25-26 (NIV), Jesus tells us: “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” When we struggle to forgive, it’s often because we’ve lost sight of how much God has forgiven us.
Matthew 18:21-22 recounts a conversation between Peter and Jesus about forgiveness. Peter asks, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus replies, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”
What a powerful reminder that God never holds our sins against us. We fail, we fall, but His love for us remains.
Nicky Gumbel once said: “Forgiveness is the most powerful weapon in the world, because it is the only thing that can break the cycle of bitterness and pain.”
The reality is, in life, people will hurt us. And yes, we’ll hurt others too. I’ve said things I’ve regretted, held onto grudges for too long, and fought to be right when I should have chosen peace. But one thing I’ve learnt is that hurt is inevitable, but bitterness is a choice.
If you want to keep your heart light and your spirit healthy, forgiveness is the key. Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting, but it does mean freeing yourself from the hold that hurt has on you.
If you want to live a free life, forgiveness is the first step.
Practical Steps to Forgiveness
I know this from personal experience. A few years ago, my husband and I went through a difficult season where we felt rejected and misunderstood. Letting go of those feelings wasn’t easy, but we realised we were the ones stuck, and only we had the power to change that. We brought our hurt to God and made a choice—not to let bitterness take root in our hearts. With the help of a counsellor, we worked through it and took practical steps towards healing.
If you’re feeling ready, here’s a simple exercise that might help:
Name the offences – Write down what happened and what hurt you. Be specific about the moments and the words that caused pain.
Describe how it made you feel – Acknowledge your emotions. Were you angry, sad, or disappointed? Allow yourself to feel those emotions without judgement.
Consider their perspective – As hard as it may be, try to understand what might have influenced their actions. What pain or brokenness could they have been carrying?
Release them – When you’re ready, say to yourself: “I release you from what you owe me. I choose to forgive.”
Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article reflect my personal Christian beliefs and are not intended to be imposed on others. Readers are encouraged to explore their own spiritual and professional beliefs in line with their values.